


i am stretched on your grave

by bluebeholder



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: All the Avengers Ever, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, I promise, It's Infinity War, Loki (Marvel) Lives, Siblings, Suicidal Thoughts, They're Not Listed But Everyone Else Is Here Too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 17:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14598375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebeholder/pseuds/bluebeholder
Summary: Loki lives.Thor dies.And in the aftermath, Loki takes his revenge.(Infinity War spoilers abound forever.)





	i am stretched on your grave

**Author's Note:**

> Does anybody remember the time that I said I would "never write Marvel fanfic"? Yeah, that day has come and gone. Probably going to be a minimal dip in this big pool, but I got inspired. 
> 
> So have a bloody, angsty, tragic fic...with a happy ending, because you know what? I'm a sucker for happy endings.

Later Loki remembers it only in disjointed memories. Flashes, fragments, still moments of the worst possible thing. He’s glad it’s not linear. It would be worse, somehow.

The ship crumbling into ash around him.

Thor’s remaining eye, bloodshot, empty.

Burning hot metal under his knees as he crawls.

The great ship of Thanos rising before the fleeing Asgardians.

A huge fist.

The blue glow of the Tesseract.

Thor’s body unmoving under his hands.

A voice speaking words Loki can’t remember.

Thanos vanishing.

Heimdall dying.

The first shots firing on the unarmed Asgardian ship.

Empty space sucking out all the air around him.

Thor’s head dripping blood.

Thor’s body unmoving under his hands.

Collapsing over his brother.

The impact of the first shot on the ship knocking them both over.

Screaming Thor’s name.

Thor on his knees before Thanos.

Thor raising Mjolnir and charging Thanos head on, lightning blazing in his eyes.

Every Asgardian screaming and dying.

Falling through space again.

Thor’s blood on his hands.

Waiting for the ship to explode and the void to just take him.

Screaming Thor’s name.

Thor.

Thor.

Thor…

And when he awakes, he at first remembers nothing but the pain.

He’s on a table, surrounded by people. A tree, a furry mammal, a Zenhoberi, a human, an insect, a being whose species he does not know. Insignificant.

“Where is my brother?” Loki asks. His voice, he notes clinically, is shattered.

“You were the only one we found,” the Zenhoberi says.

Her face is familiar. Have they met before? No matter. “My brother,” Loki says. He sits up with force of will alone, pouring all his energy into his voice. Something is wrong. There is a hole in the universe and he does not know why, but… “We were together when we were attacked.”

“Who attacked you?” the human asks. “I mean, man, that looked _ugly_.”

“It did not merely look ugly,” the other humanoid says gruffly. “It _was_ ugly.”

“Not the point,” the Zenhoberi says. She watches him, expression completely unreadable. “We didn’t find any other survivors.”

Loki shakes his head. He’s starting to tremble. Aftereffects of shock, he tells himself, the adrenaline of combat coming down.

The hole in the universe is yawning wider around him. It feels like he’s tipping over the edge of a precipice. Like he’s going to fall.

“My brother Thor would have lived,” he says, with certainty he’s not even sure he possesses. “He is the stronger of us and if I lived…”

“Buddy, we didn’t find anybody,” the furry mammal says brutally. “You’re it.”

Loki staggers to his feet and stumbles to the window. Thor is alive. Thor must be alive. The human is speaking but Loki can’t make out the words. He presses palms to the window, stares into space, into the wreckage of everything that was left of Asgard. There are bodies floating there, frozen, dead.

Thor is nowhere to be seen.

All at once the floor of the ship goes out from under him and Loki’s knees buckle. He’s falling, falling, on the floor of the ship but nowhere on it, falling through it. His throat must be bleeding with how loud he screams.

The hole in the universe is where Thor once stood.

He fights.

He names Thanos to Gamora—the Titan’s daughter, isn’t she, and so easily manipulated with a twist of the tongue. He has Thanos’ secrets. These Guardians are his army now, they’re a start, and Loki knows where Thanos is going, knows just how to find more.

He loses the tree and furry mammal, who head away on his direction to see about a weapon to be made by Eitri. It will not be Mjolnir’s equal, but it will be a weapon at least, and one that might have a chance of killing Thanos, should they return with it in time. Will Loki be worthy? Perhaps not, but one of the…Avengers might be.

“Earth’s mightiest heroes,” he muses. “I daresay Thanos will be surprised.”

For a long time Loki stands staring out into the void where Thor’s body floats in a cloud of ash.

Loki takes a kind of comfort in knowing that one day, that ash might be drawn into the orbit of a star, perhaps into a star itself, and the star will shine the brighter for having even fragments of Thor’s spirit within it. If an end can be fitting, this is that end. Thor’s name will not go unremembered, his sacrifice will not be forgotten.

They lose Gamora and this is a necessary and acceptable sacrifice. Loki must bring the battle to earth and this, this he can do. And Gamora’s vanishing gives him what he needs to drag Peter Quill into the fight, to convince him that vengeance is worth everything.

His vision is getting hazy by the time that Nebula, another daughter of Thanos, finds them and brings them to Titan. There are others waiting here, others who can fight, and Loki needs them. Tony Stark, the strange doctor—they are ready to kill him, to destroy a threat like him, until he puts a knife to the young Spider-Man’s throat.

It would bring him no joy to kill the boy, but if he has to make sacrifices, he will. But they cannot stay on Titan. They cannot fight on a ground of Thanos’ choosing, and they cannot fight without more to stand beside them.

And Loki is somehow not surprised when the men stand down. After all, did he not stand down to save Thor? There is never a guarantee when there is a hostage, but Loki is not Thanos. He is not Thanos. He would never be anything like Thanos and he lets the boy go.  

They let Loki burn a hole through the universe to take them back to earth. With Loki leading, walk between the worlds, back to the planet where they will fight Thanos. It chews at his edges to bring them this way, to keep nine others safe as they rush down the most dangerous road in all the Realms to reach Earth before Thanos does.

Loki’s body feels like it will burn alive.

But there is no time to rest.

The good Captain, the cat-king, they take more convincing. But there is no time, and when Loki offers what he offers—a way to destroy Thanos once and for all, though he knows it isn’t certain—they can do nothing but accept.

Preparations for battle are short. These Wakandans are more disciplined than Asgardians have ever been, and Loki admires them. “Let me handle Thanos,” he says to the leaders in this fight. “Let me occupy his attention. Protect the Infinity Stones.” They agree, tentatively: Loki is, after all, a god, and they have seen before what he can do.

The being, Vision, who holds the Mind Stone, will be guarded by the strange doctor. Sorcerer Supreme—to borrow an Earth phrase, Loki would like to be given a break. The Maximoff woman is ten times the doctor’s power and Loki is ten times his cleverness. Still, he is a sorcerer. He remains behind while young Shuri tries to detach Vision from the stone, to protect them. He will be effective enough, even after Loki creates an illusory replica of his amulet and walks away with the Time Stone in his pocket.

“I don’t like this,” the Captain says, as they marshal themselves and prepare for battle.

“You do not have to like it,” Loki says icily. He plants his hands on the Captain’s shield and concentrates. A moment later, the vibranium of the shield is woven through with an enchantment that will allow its protection to be extended across the Captain’s body, to a certain degree. “After the battle you may execute me, I do not care.”

There are more enchantments to cast, and Loki—the only sorcerer skilled in such magic—must be the one to take care of them. Stark’s armor must be reinforced, the Wakandan general and the Widow must receive similar protections, the one they call the White Wolf must be given strength in his body to match his artificial limb. Loki cannot afford them dead. He turns away, and the words of the Captain stop him in his tracks. “You said Thor was dead.”

Thor’s body unmoving under his hands.

“He is,” Loki says, staring away.

“And what did you have to do with that?”

“I was on the same ship he was when Thanos hunted me down,” Loki says. The acid bite of the words feels like it will tear out his tongue. Tears sting his eyes and he forces them back. There is no time. “I would not kill my own brother, Captain. I am here to avenge him.”

“So you’re one of the Avengers now,” the Captain says, neutral, almost amused.

Loki doesn’t dignify that with a response.

He stands in the vanguard, when they go to face the forces of the Titan. The Time Stone beats like a pulse, the pulse of time itself, in his pocket. This is how he will draw Thanos off. This is how he will take his chance. With the Time Stone he can spin time at his whim. He can fight the fight a hundred thousand times if need be, find the perfect way to strike.

Oh, Loki knows what that will do to his body, his mind. He will be ripped to pieces. He will die out of time, crumbling to ash in some places and ceasing to exist in others as he is torn apart by the forces of time. But Thanos will be dead.

That is all that matters.

When the Titan’s forces land, it is a massacre.

All of the Avengers fight together. Every single one of them, and they are breathtaking. Heroes in every sense of the word. Thor belongs among them.

Loki fights with knives and magic. He is ruthless. Reckless. He cares nothing for the remaining Children of Thanos: they will be handled by the rest of the heroes. Thanos is _his_.

And Thanos comes for him.

He breaks from the fray, gutting a monster on his way past, running for an open space.

Loki holds up the Time Stone.

“Here I am,” he whispers, and knows Thanos will hear him. “Come and find me.”

The world opens before him.

And he faces the Titan again.

“Loki,” Thanos says. He sounds amused. Loki feels sick. “Bringing me another stone. Do you want me to turn back time and return your brother to you?”

“No,” Loki says. His lip cracks and blood drips down his face. “No.”

“Give me the stone and I will grant you mercy,” Thanos says. Sickening compassion. “You are suffering. Let me take it from you.”

Thor’s head dripping blood.

Loki charges.

The fight is a failure the first time.

It is a failure the second.

And the third.

And the tenth.

And the twentieth.

Loki’s body is starting to break down. He does not permit it. He keeps fighting. He nicks Thanos more and more frequently, makes him bleed, but not enough, never enough, never enough for the blood Thanos spilled, for Thor’s blood on his hands.

He is faster than Thanos, quicker on his feet. The titan cannot hit him. Cannot hit him until the fatigue begins to wear down Loki’s legs.

And on the twenty-sixth attempt, Loki trips.

He trips, and Thanos has him by the throat.

This time, Loki does not fall. He rises.

He tears at the Titan’s hand, trying to get away, but the grip is unyielding. Thanos does not let Loki breathe a moment. He is determined to crush the life out of Loki. He has the Time Stone. Why wouldn’t he kill Loki now?

What a bitter irony. To die crushed by the Titan’s fist, after giving up a second stone. The bitterest irony. It makes Loki laugh, bloody tears dripping down his face, because what else can he do now?

And then the sky opens.

A thunderstorm comes to earth.

The earth shatters and even the Titan staggers. Loki sucks in a precious breath and thinks, for a moment, he’s dreaming. Where there’s thunder…Loki always knows what follows.

Impossible.

“ _ **THANOS!**_ ”

That voice…

Thanos drops Loki.

He has never been more grateful to fall.

Breathing in choked gasps, Loki looks up.

Shrouded in glorious lighting, carrying a magnificent axe. Two eyes, glowing white-hot. A god, a storm incarnate, the hero, a face that Loki never thought he would see again.

Thor.

Thor.

Thor.

He finds the strength, somehow, to get up. Thanos is heading for Thor as Thor comes for him, and Loki will be damned for all time if he misses this. His feet don’t want to move.

But he must move.  

He is a Prince of Asgard.

He is Odin’s son.

He is the King of Jotunheim.

He is the God of Mischief.

He is Thor’s little brother.

Loki lets go of the magic masking his true form. He will need every single ounce of it now, and there is not much left. His skin is blue and there is ice in his veins, his mother’s magic is in his fingers, his father’s cleverness is in his mind, and his brother’s strength is in his body.

Thanos never sees him coming.

The fight is brutal and bitter. Loki is spitting blood by the fight’s end, but the fight does end, with Thano’s head on the ground, the Infinity Gauntlet ripped incomplete from his hand. It’s all over. The fighting, the war, the fear.

And Loki can only be numb.

The other Avengers have arrived, gathering around, asking questions, shouting, clapping Thor on the back. Loki rips the Reality Stone from Thanos’ gauntlet, drops it in Peter Quill’s hand. “Bring her back,” he says—no, chokes. “Gamora. She can come back with this. Use it.”

“Is that wise—” someone starts, but Quill is already moving, pulling at reality.

A figure begins to materialize before him. Loki doesn’t watch their reunion. He got her killed. He got her killed, and all for nothing, because Thor was alive after all.

He turns and finds himself face to face with Thor.

The sun is shining on them so brightly.

“You survived,” Thor says. The axe hangs at his side, forgotten. “I thought you dead…”

“Did you mourn?” Loki asks.

Thor drops the axe and wraps Loki in a hug. “I mourned,” he says. “I would have had your name remembered. Rabbit told me you lived, though we could not find you…”

All of a sudden Loki can’t see straight. He clutches his brother’s shoulders, feels him breathing, and feels the hole in the universe seal up.

Thor is alive.

Loki isn’t falling anymore.


End file.
